That Sort Of Dude

You want to talk about beauty, 

I hear impending doom

“Hey baby, hey boo let’s hangout sometime

have some drinks under the moon”

I know what you intend when you’re trying to be smoothe

and smoothe deception is why I rarely leave my room

So, lets pretend just for a sec

that you’re a kind, gentle soul

and I’m in no danger, 

I’m in total control

and your feelings get hurt

because you think I’ve assumed

and I’ve singled you out 

as the predator in the room

but at random, by chance

it was safe to assume

because it could be anyone

and that includes you

I don’t know the life you’ve led

and I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m rude

‘cause the media and the cops will blame me

for leaving with you

when they find my body

fucked, bent, and bruised

Must’ve been the wrong kind of girl to begin with

Must’ve been a very tempting dress

Poor guy couldn’t help himself, 

he didn’t pass the test!

Was she drunk?

Was she on pills?

She must’ve been asking for it

This just in: She’s mentally ill!

She must have provoked this

‘cause he’s a really good guy

I know cause his mama told me

This girl must be mis-remembering

She must be high!

So, I’d rather not get drinks

I’d rather enjoy the moon on my own

Take no for an answer

and leave me alone

I’m not a cunt for dismissing your advances

I’m not a bitch

telling me so doesn’t raise your chances with me

only of you ending up in a ditch

Who do you think I am?

What am I to you?

A nameless face

with a pussy and some boobs

So, lets not pretend you know me

Lets not pretend I’m the one being rude

Come on, baby we just met

I thought you didn’t want to come off as that sort of dude?